Technology Tourettes

I was first exposed to a computer in the 5th grade.  We were taught how to write in BASIC - the screen was black, the only font was green and it was horrible on the eyes.   We saved our programs on a cassette tape, exactly like the one you used to record music off the radio.  And you'd have to watch the counter to rewind or fast-forward to the point wherever your program started.  At the time, I thought that was THE coolest thing and I thought I was the smartest person ever because I could write a computer program!

These days, I can barely check my email because my password needs to be a combination of alpha-numeric, Aramaic, half CAPS, and contain two types of animals, Chinese characters and the words to an ABBA song.

I've always said that technology can make us become our own worst enemy.  I asked someone the other day "Do you have any fun plans on going somewhere this weekend to stare at your phone?" Yes, I'm that person who gets annoyed when your phone is on the table at lunch or that you need to check it incessantly every five minutes.  What happened to social interaction, and I mean actual voice to voice, eye to eye interaction and not communicating through Likes, Comments, @symbols and hash-tags?

Technology is supposed to make our lives easier, but I often find that it complicates my own, and it has left me craving the simpler days.  There was something comforting in coming home to check for voice messages on the machine, or figuring out the VCR timer or laying on the floor while talking on the phone because the cord was too short to reach your bed.  So I don't know if it's just an age thing and I'm old-school or that I'm simply not technologically savvy enough to understand any of it.

But as much as I've tried to resist change, I have given in to some of the following but not without a fight.  And no joke, some of these things I've only started using in the last year or so and in most cases, was forced into by default.

Smart phone:  I have a Samsung something-something.  I don't even know what it is.  I didn't even have one until my old flip-phone broke last summer, so I walked into the Sprint store and all I said was "I need a new phone, preferably an Android."  Keep in mind, I have NO clue what the different platforms are or mean but I know my IT guys at work used Android and I'm not hipster enough to use an iPhone.  So he asks me, "what do you use it for?"  I said, "to text, check my email when I should be working and to call my mom."  He leads me to the Android phones, I pick up the cutest one, pretend like I know what I'm doing and say, "sure, wrap it up" and the guy says, "Don't you want to check it out more, play around with it?" To which I say, "Can it text, check my email, call my mom? Yes?  Wrap it up."  The next day, several guys at work see it on my desk and are like "Whoa, cool! Is that the new Samsung X5000-R2D2 (yes, that' a made up model because no, I still don't know what it is)" and I say, "I have no clue, it's a phone!"  Little did I realize that I had a top of the line phone that has 100s of great functions and features.  I use it to text, check email and call my mom.

Home Computer: I didn't have a home laptop until a year after I started working at my current job (2007).  I didn't have home internet access until then either but hooked up service only because I now had the computer.     

DVR: My cable bill went up last summer and I called Time Warner to check out alternative options.  They had a special that would reduce my monthly charge if I added the DVR function.  I already watch enough bad television, I did not need a reason to record MORE bad television.


Apple Products:  My first iPod was a Shuffle; it looked like a memory stick and I won it in a contest at work.  At that time, I had neither an iTunes account much less internet access at home, so I sat & watched my friend for 8 hours uploading music on to it from her computer.  I used that Shuffle for 3 or 4 years until I got mom to buy me a cute pink Nano for my birthday last year. And then most recently, my boss was very gracious to gift everyone in the company with individual AppleTV units.  I finally had to give in and create an iTunes account.  Great, another place to shop (but I have yet to purchase an Apple product on my own).

Car GPS:  Actually I don't even have this in my car; instead, I have a stack of handwritten directions on post-its and scraps of paper that I keep in the middle console in my car.  So this one I have succeeded in avoiding so far (and no, I don't know how to use the GPS function on my phone - see Smart phone entry above).

Social Media: I created my Facebook account maybe in 2008. My friend who introduced it to me was much younger, and I was fascinated with her 2000 connections.  I didn't quite understand it yet but reluctantly signed up and hoped for even 10 friends!  As for Twitter and Instagram, I'm still trying to figure those out <report back later>

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There are days when I come home, the TV is off, phone ringer muted, computer shut down so I can sit and stare.  Some of my friends get annoyed that I'm not attached to my phone and respond to texts in a less than timely manner but sometimes I need an escape from it all.  And there are days when I have total technology Tourettes; I'm watching a DVRd show (I can't watch normal TV anymore!), laptop on, IMing through GoogleTalk, responding to Hotmail emails, stalking my 316 friends on Facebook (most of whom I haven't seen nor spoken more than 5 words to in the last 20 years), perusing ModCloth, writing on Blogger.com, iTunes library playing in the background, participating in no less than 4 text chats, and checking my work email from my phone.  So needless to say, I have given in to the arms of technology but have yet to determine whether it has improved or degraded my life. I may be an old dog when it comes to adapting to new technology, but who am I kidding... I can't live without it because the recluse that I am, can sit here and not have to interact with any of you!