Infomercial Junkie

You know when you're awake at 2am and can't fall asleep so you turn on the TV only to find every channel is broadcasting random infomercials?  And you think, "who is buying this crap?"

Hi!  That would be me.  I'm an infomercial junkie.

Yes, I'm a sucker for a good infomercial and will most likely be sold on anything if it has the right elements: positive testimonials, reviews, and of course, the celebrity endorsements.  And I'll watch the same infomercial again and again sometimes.

My addiction to infomercials originated with workout videos - I still have a VHS tape of Billy Blanks' Tae Bo; the participants in the workout are sporting Pat Benatar hairdos, colorful spandex pants with graphic sports bras and matching headbands.  I loved this video and probably used it 3-4 times per week..,. back in the 90s.  I wanted to help film his next video (I, too, had a Pat Benatar haircut and flashy headbands - I would have be perfect!)  

I've been working out since I was about 12 years old.  I thank my dad for giving me such a warped sense of body image but I guess it has helped me continue to live a pretty active lifestyle as an adult.  But because I do tend to bored with the same routine, I like to mix up my workouts.  I also like having the option of working out at home when the weather isn't ideal for exercising outside. So I've since added to my "home gym" collection to keep ol' Billy Blanks company.

These are just a few I've purchased:

Power90  - This is the original P90X; it's only Tony Horton (before all the botched Botox) and two other people in a small room and the only "equipment" is some tape to make an X on the floor.  The workout was quite boring and let's be honest, I never made it to Day 90.

Great Stretch/Thighs/Legs - These are also still on VHS and I've held onto them because they're actually pretty good workouts which target one area at a time and they're only 20 minutes long.  Funny enough, Tony Horton is one of the participants in some of them, pre-P90X fame.

TheFirm - this one is pretty funny.  Its instructors are this group of 20-something Southern belles with whom you'd rather enjoy tea than exercise.  But the package included a set of great hand weights which all came in a cute purple box. The music is horrible, the workouts are mediocre but it's a great "I'm tired but still want to workout" workout.  And you can't help but laugh at these cheesy girls who don't even break a sweat.

Yoga Booty Ballet - I've actually really enjoyed this series as it incorporates yoga poses, ballet moves and dance.  The instructors are fun, it's a good workout for your bum and they keep it fun and versatile.  Although, I think the camera man had a crush on one of the participants and keeps going back to her too frequently throughout the workouts.

Mitch Gaylord, Melt It Off - Do you remember Mitch from the 1984 Olympic Summer games?  He was a member of the famed men's gymnastic team that year.  I was obsessed with that Olympics and couldn't order this one fast enough.  I love this video simply for the fact Mitch flashes his pearly whites, and encourages you to keep going as you're on your 200th squat and 500th lunge.  (I couldn't walk for 2 days after the first time I used this one, no lie)

Brazilian Butt Lift - This one won in a toss up with the Zumba DVD.  I was really excited about this but it hasn't lived up to the hype.  One, throughout the workout, it flashes between an indoor studio and then a scene in Brazil with these gorgeous Brazilian girls doing the same workout beachfront.  There's about a nanosecond delay and the count and music is off sometimes.  Not overly annoying, but annoying enough to make me not want to do it (yeah, THAT'S the reason I don't use it!)  It's not a bad workout but it's also not a very entertaining and fun workout... I should have gone with Zumba.

(Most of these are Beach Body Workouts - what I should do is invest in that company instead!)

Leg Magic - Ok, this one I'm actually embarrassed to admit buying.  I have no clue what possessed me to purchase this one but in my defense, it must have been one damn good infomercial.  This was an actual machine that would "easily fold up to store under your bed..."  More like, folded up and shoved in the corner to collect dust.  I used this maybe two or three times and I remember the gal in the video was awful and probably one of the most un-motivating trainers I've ever seen.  For months, Julian would badger me about getting rid of it.  It finally went to Goodwill heaven the last time I moved.

Kettleworx - I didn't purchase this one myself but borrowed it from a friend.  The host is this good-looking Canadian who, hmmm, how should I put this.... wore shorts that were perhaps too fitted, enough to distract you from keeping count of your reps.  But it's a full-body workout and actually pretty decent.

(This is the first time I've written out all my purchases and I'm quite embarrassed with myself.)  But like I said, my infomercial obsession expands beyond the workout genre.

I have also given in to:

Cindy Crawford's Meaningful Beauty - Come on...who doesn't want to look like Cindy Crawford? I've been using this for several years and have been pretty satisfied with it and it's great because the product automatically shows up at my door every six months.  What's funny is that I still watch the infomercial every now and then when it is televised on early Saturday mornings.  

Turbo Cooker - This was purchased shortly after I moved in with Darin and it was going to help me "want" to cook more often... well, at least the motivation was there.  I can't recall the science behind this thing but I do remember you could put a frozen chicken breast in there and it would cook within 20 minutes.  And it came with a cool tray that you could cook other things in it simultaneously.  I remember cooking everything from pasta, chicken, veggies to even a cheesecake in this thing!  It was pretty amazing!  Looking back, the pan itself probably released so many harmful toxins during use, I'm sure it activated some cancerous cells in my body.  This too took a trip to Goodwill.

Moreover, my obsession isn't limited to the 30-minute fancy infomercial (by the way, I always get suckered into the "if you call in the next 12 minutes...") as I also love anything you typically can't buy in stores.  My favorites right now are the NeatDesk and the stuff you can use to clean the grime off your car headlights.

Needless to say, I have a problem.  Luckily, I haven't purchased anything in the last year or so but I'm sure one early morning, I'll see the latest craze and will get suckered into it sooner or later!

Arianna Huffington article

I'm cheating today and using someone else's writing... but this a great article, I had to share.

http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130503130619-143695135-america-s-real-deficit-crisis?trk=eml-mktg-condig-0108-p1

Just Shut Up and Follow Me

Everything happens for a reason.

At the end of last year, I had to undergo surgery on my right shoulder for a torn rotator cuff.  The recovery has not only been painful but also slow and frustrating.  Since Dec. 26, 2012, I have been spending close to two hours in physical therapy, three times per week.  Not exactly how I'd like to be spending my time.

At the advice of my sister-in-law, I began therapy in February with an acupuncturist from whom she received successful treatment for a similar injury; at this point, I was going to try anything to get my shoulder moving again. I began driving all the way up to Redondo Beach to the Re Nu Mi Wellness Center for treatment every Saturday morning for the next two months.  Dr. Kim was no ordinary doctor and I was intrigued with his practice, his teachings and words of wisdom he imparted each session.  

After a few visits, Dr. Kim mentioned this retreat he had been hosting for many years and invited me to join this year's group.  For weeks, he would suggest that I go but I was a bit hesitant; I really wanted to but it was more of a financial issue for me.  But I followed my gut to attend and decided that it would be well worth it.

I'm so grateful my gut is wiser than my head.

It's been several days since returning from this weekend retreat in Sedona, AZ and I'm still finding it painstakingly difficult to find the words that can truly capture this powerful experience.  I've already written and re-written this entry many times over but still unable to clearly articulate my heartfelt feelings.  I thought writing would be cathartic and help me get my head around what I've been feeling but even so, I still can't find the "right" words to fully illustrate the magnitude and intensity of this experience.

And this retreat could not have come at a better time - as you may have read from a previous post, I have been feeling very lost and looking for something unknown.  So going into this weekend, I was hoping to perhaps find some clarity or some sort of direction, some kind of sign that would help me find my Life GPS.

I also wanted to approach the weekend with an open mind and an open heart; I had no expectations nor could I since, quite frankly, Dr. Kim doesn't give you much information other than a one-page itinerary that only includes where we would be staying and locations we'd be visiting in Sedona.  So off I went without any predisposed notion of what I was about to encounter. 

Including Dr. Kim, there were a total of 12 participants for our adventure.  We all lived in Southern California but all from different backgrounds.  Aside from the fact that we were all patients of his, there was this mysterious thread that uniquely tied us all together and it made me think that Dr. Kim specifically hand-picked each of us to meet and undergo this experience together.

The only thing that was asked of us was to bring a few personal intentions, prayers of sort.  Something that we wanted to work on or pray about, something that was perhaps troubling us in our lives at the moment, be it physical, emotional or whatever challenges we might be battling.  

On the first evening together, we took a night hike out to the Airport Vortex, laid out some blankets and stared up at the evening sky, littered with stars - living in a metropolitan area of Southern California, it's been a while since I've been able to see so many stars so this was a much welcome treat.  But as we laid there, we shared our intentions and prayers of what we were hoping to work on this weekend.  I shared my feelings of disorientation with my search for "something outside myself" and the discontentment with my inability to trust my own decisions. 

The rest of our weekend consisted of hikes out to several vortex locations for which Sedona is known, meditation and a sweat lodge purification ceremony.  I was not familiar with a sweat lodge until someone told me about a unique case (completely unrelated to Dr. Kim's retreats) where some people had died - by the way, not a good story to tell your mother before you leave on a weekend retreat out of town.  I was actually really intrigued about this ritual but more worried about my own physical state; I have passed out on two other occasions due to extreme heat and dehydration so I was rightfully anxious about sitting in a small hut that could top over 100 degrees inside.  

I won't go into too much of the actual ceremony itself as there is too much symbolism and ceremonious detail to really explain here.  But this I can share as it related to my experience:

One, it was super hot.  I kept trying to calm my nerves prior to going in by saying "I'm just going to hot yoga" but that did not come close to prepare me for as hot as it was there.  Two, it's pitch dark inside other than the temporary light from the fire-heated stones that are placed in the pit in the middle.  Moreover, I tend to be claustrophobic and this tented, low-ceiling area was smaller than my bedroom; and then cram 13 people inside with no room to stand up.  And on top of all that, I often suffer from vertigo if I'm unable to focus my eyes on something.  So between the passing out, claustrophobia and vertigo, I had to overcome my physical and mental feats pretty quickly.

About 20 minutes into it, I leaned over to Dr. Kim and bluntly said, "I don't feel well" as I was clearly about to freak out.  There were several moments when I wanted to crawl out of there as fast as possible as my body and mind succumbed to fear.  But I endured for the 2.5 hour ceremony but not without a little help from Dr. Kim who reminded me to breathe and always return to the center of my self.

Simple instructions can have a prodigious effect.

The next morning, our group met to recap our previous night's experience.  It was amazing to hear everyone's unique perspective, what they physically saw or felt and experienced. What I found curious was that several people in the group had this ah-ha moment; something spoke to them or they experienced something during the ceremony that seemed totally foreign to me.  I was almost, I hate to admit, jealous that they had a completely different experience than my own.  I was too concerned with getting through the ceremony physically, that I perhaps missed out on something; and as a result, I felt I had failed in some way.

And then it hit me.  I realized what its purpose was for me.  I remembered how each time when I wanted to focus on the others and their intentions and prayers, I had to keep coming back to myself, I had to return to my own well-being first. As much as I wanted to be there for my new friends and support them in whatever prayers they had to offer, I had to be strong for myself first.  

For years, I've always either been codependent on someone or looked to others for reassurance and approval; I've battled with major insecurities and self-doubt, I've second-guessed decisions or outright avoided making choices on my own altogether.  I always looked outside of myself, someone else to blame or depend on, yet it never dawned on me to look internally first.  I got through this ceremony because I focused on me; and now, and only now, can I see that I do possess my own inner strength on which I can depend instead.  And even more so, I can actually trust my gut and the decisions that I make (my gut knew to come on this retreat and it didn't stray me wrong there!).

Like the saying goes, you can't love someone else unless you love yourself first. In this case, I realized that I had to find strength in myself before I could give strength to others around me.  

I learned that I no longer have to look to others to build me up because I have the fortitude to stand on my own.  I learned that I can trust and have faith in myself first and foremost. I learned that I can be strong.  All I have to do is start with ME.  

I returned home feeling refreshed and spiritually revitalized.  The next day, I stayed home from work knowing that it may be challenging to re-enter my typical "real life" routine after being away for such an emotionally charging experience.  I took this day to really reflect on everything and really drink it all in.

However, the next day was a much different story.  We were told by one of the retreat moderators to not be surprised if we had feelings of depression or just out of sorts upon return to our normal lives.  Well for me, that was an understatement.  I returned to work and within seconds of sitting down at my desk, the two computer monitors on, voice mail light blinking at me, emails coming in - I was completely overstimulated to the point of suffocation.  I was overwhelmed with the effect everything was having on me and had to take a second to breathe and really reconfigure my mind.  I found myself having to stop every so often to just focus on my breath and be mindful of what I was doing.

Later that morning, I was casually telling some coworkers about the weekend and I was at a loss for words - something NOT common for me.  And then out of no where, I could feel an impeding moment of destitution; tears welled up in my eyes because not only was I struggling to find my words to explain what I was feeling but almost paralyzed by indescribable emotion.  Needless to say, I only lasted about three hours in the office and this extroverted recluse was much more calm in the solitude of my house, phone /tv off.

Today was a little easier although I did stay away from the office and chose to work from home.  I went for a walk and meditated for about 20 minutes which definitely helped soothe my mind and body.  I did have to go into physical therapy this afternoon but all the people and movement and just the realization that I was back home, having to deal with my everyday "stuff" including the continued rehabilitation of my shoulder, almost brought me to tears again.

I find it amusing when people say to me "oh, glad to hear it was a good weekend!" and I smirk and think, good?  Enlightening, interesting, complex, yes, but 'good' simply fails as a descriptor for this weekend.

It was comforting to hear that some of the other members of our group were in some way experiencing a similar aftermath and I can only hope tomorrow will be easier yet.  It's bewildering to see how three days away, in such a peaceful and serene yet energizing place like Sedona can really do a number on one's psyche.  I'm still trying to understand and appreciate all that I'm going through, but again... everything happens for a reason.  

These three days not only challenged us physically and mentally, but forced us to open our minds and our souls.  As I re-read this post over and over, it still doesn't really explain what happened to me this weekend.  But there's a reason I injured my shoulder; there's a reason my sister-in-law recommended Dr. Kim and why I waited several months to start seeing him; there's a reason I listened to my gut to attend the retreat; there's a reason I met these 11 amazing individuals whom I am so gracious and grateful to have met and shared this experience with.....

If you were to ask As Dr. Kim what the retreat was about, he would say, "oh just shut up and follow me."  And that pretty much explains it.  You just have have faith and follow him (who by the way, is like a billygoat climbing up heavy terrain mountainsides!) and approach it with an open mind.  And that's all I can say about it.

Please message me if you're interested in attending the next retreat in October - I highly recommend it to anyone and hope to be attending it again as well!