I am officially 40 years, 5 months and 2 weeks and 5 days old today.
<Cripes>
I think turning 39 was harder than 40. You reach 39 and it's like "holy shit, I'm in my late 30s!" But I have to say, turning 40 was pretty great. I ended up spending my last days of my 30s in Costa Rica; and on the anniversary of my birth, am proud to admit that for only the second time in my life, went surfing and even got up a few times. So, yeah, the actual day of turning 40, not too shabby!
The next 5 months and 19 days, well, that's a different story.
Tonight, a friend of mine emailed a photo of me that was taken about 6 years ago - I about fell off the couch when I saw how young I looked! Only 6 years ago, I thought? Wow, I was 34. I don't even remember 34, it seems so insignificant now? (although I did remember the outfit I was wearing, where I bought it and what shoes I had paired with it the day the photo was taken).
Where did that time go? And where did that body go?
My motto for this year has been "New year, Old me!" meaning, I'm going to work hard again at work, make a sh*t load of money, workout like crazy and get my old body back. Just like the good ol' days. Damn, those good ol' days. They always make you grateful for what you had before.... including a lithe, limber 30yr old body.
Last week, I had a riveting Friday night which included a text conversation with my best friend. Topic: the excess amount of skin that has created a home around my waist and stomach. She empathized and said "when I was younger, I could skip breakfast and it would go away!" Yeah, I remember when I could do a sit-up and mine would disappear. These days, I'm at the gym for hours on end, 4-5 times per week... and yep... still there.
I was chatting with a couple of 20-something year olds in the kitchen at work last week and they were discussing their weekend plans of visiting various bars in Huntington and Newport Beach - the mere thought of day drinking well into the night made my body cringe. But then I thought.. that used to be me, I would go out 5-6 nights a week! I was the cool kid, too..... 15 years ago. Now, I just want to sit at home, enjoy a
When did I start noticing the wrinkles on my hands? On my toes? When did my skin become so crinkly? Is the skin on my neck sagging? I also noticed that I'm much more concerned about doctor's appointments - annual exams, mammograms, dentist, optometrist, dermatologist - why all of a sudden am I so worried about my health? Did turning 40 give me some weird sixth sense that made me more conscious about my aging body?
I've also been re-evaluating my wardrobe. I did a purge in my closet this past weekend because I "accidentally" went to the mall and a few things randomly jumped into my arms (but that's for a different post as I want to tell you about my fun purchases). So I came home and realized it was a good time to discard some oldies. It was wistfully easy to throw out a few items because 1) some shirts were aggressively gripping aforementioned unwanted skin 2) who wears turtle-necks anymore and 3) I finally caved to throw out items I've been holding onto for far too long (as if holding onto my youth). For those of you who read my previous post (Catholicschoolitis), this was a daunting task in itself.
The sad conclusion being that some of these clothes were simply not age appropriate for my body anymore. The cutey sundresses, the short shorts, the mini skirts. Not only do they not fit (!) but I look just plain silly trying to pull off some of these outfits now.
I'm not saying that I'm only going to shop at Chico's (yes, you did get that reference) but this is a weird wardrobe age. As funny as that sounds, I'm too young for mumus, too old for minis. Where do I belong?
I know I should be grateful for how I am aging - I'm Asian, we don't technically age until about 62 - but I guess I've become more humble to the fact that certain body parts aren't going to look the same from here on out....So no, 40 is not the new 20. I wouldn't redo one minute of the last 20 years. And age is but a number, right? So, I am embracing 40, proud to be here and excited to see what the decade has in store for me.
